Thinking ahead important when planning a drive-by
Been out of the office breathing new life into the old Westy, but more on that later.
Nothing warms the heart more than returning to work to find a pile of interesting things local criminals have been up to — really stupid, but interesting.
First off, when you are going to do a drive-by shooting, and the apartment complex you are going to shoot up only has one entrance to the parking lot, it’s a good idea to do the shooting on the way out. Some local men, three of them, found out that, if you do the shooting on the way in, by the time you get to the end of the lot, turn around, and head back out, the guy whose apartment you just blew full of holes has had time to get his 12-gage shotgun.
One of the shooters got buckshot in the ass, another in the hand. Police have not got their hands on the third guy yet. To pour a little salt in the wound, one of the shooters may also be charged with possession, since he got caught with a pack of smokes with crack rocks (just like Pop Rocks, but different) in it.
What’s better, when we reported where the suspects lived — not hard to find since they had to give the ambulance the address — he complained vigorously that we were making his neighborhood look bad. His troubles alllllllll stem from the evil media, not the house full of gang-bangers living across the street.
Some more advice, from dipshit criminal case of the week No. 2: If you are running from the police on a motorcycle, leading most of the city law enforcement on a high-speed chase at two in the morning, and decide to discard your fanny pack because it has in it, say, drugs packaged for sale, scales, drugs not packaged for sale, an illegal gun, and a list of your clients’ names and numbers, it’s probably not the best idea to leave your cell phone, registered to you, in the bag. It’s also dumb to dump the stuff in the neighborhood where your parents, one of them a municipal employee, live and where everyone will recognize you … Not that it mattered a whole lot in this case, because 1. the cops already got the tag of the bike and, 2. The neighborhood only has three ways in and out, which really makes it easy for the police to limit your exit options.
What’s better? The slob ran from the police when they tried to stop him for running a stop light — a simple ticket. Though, and this should be just simple common sense — if you have a load of drugs and other illegal stuff on you, don’t do stupid shit like run stop signs or speed. There is no end to the number of people around here who get busted for possession or illegal firearms or other felony-level activities because they failed to yield the right-of-way. duh.
