Designing artist t-shirts is good, mkay

Word of advice to you folks out there who have a bunch of outstanding warrants.

No matter how cool you think it would be … don’t be in a police-escorted parade. Was covering a community parade Saturday in one of our housing projects. Car came in to line up for the parade. Turns out, the passenger was wanted out of Birmingham on several warrants.

At least the police were nice enough to hold off on the arrest until after the parade was over so they would not make the arrest in front of a bunch of kids. Still. Someone needs to review the British military film: “How not to be seen”.

On another front. We had a report of damage to property. Guy breaks into his old girlfriend’s house to get all the stuff he left behind during the breakup. So far, no problem. Then, just to be malicious, he stuffs three sheets in the oven. Now there is a problem. Cops have not picked up the jilted boyfriend, but his day is coming — soon. It is, after all, a small town.

And now … stupid repo men meet stupid parent.

Local woman missed a bunch of payments on her car. Repo guys followed her to a local nursing home. After she went in, they waited about 30 minutes to make sure they had time, then went ahead and hooked up the car to the tow truck.

The two dumb and dumber repo dorks got a few miles down the road when they heard screaming. Turns out they had repossessed the car … and kidnapped the woman’s 2-year old the dumb bag left in the back of her car. Mom is undergoing intensive counseling from the good people at child services on where not to leave your childre.

Repo guys managed, somehow, not to get charged with kidnapping. Still, you would figure that, rule  No. 1 on repossessing vehicles would be to check and make sure no one is actually in the car when you tow it away.

What’s really sad here is that the child is absolute proof the woman has already reproduced. We need mandatory Depro shots for everyone who spends more time breathing through their mouths than their noses.